My beloved Tom.
October 12, 1942 - January 18, 2018

Webcast of Tom's Celebration of Life
which occourd on February 3, 2018

This section about Tom will be expanded as soon as I recover from the shock.


January 18, 2018

Tom Lott, my partner of 34 ½ years and husband of the last 2 ½ years, died sometime early this morning. Tom was 75.

Tom was the Trustee for The Atlantic States Gay Rodeo Association (ASGRA).

His death was the result of alcohol and drug addiction.

While the exact cause of death is yet to be determined, it appears he was in bed and tried to either roll over or get up and in his inebriated state, he slipped and his head became lodged between the bed and a wooden file cabinet we used as a night stand. I currently believe this cut off his wind pipe and with the state he was in, he was unable to free himself.

I found him about 10:30 am this morning. I called 911, but it was fairly clear it was too late. The paramedics worked on him for about 20 minutes before giving up. His body has been taken to the coroner's office and they are going to do an autopsy tomorrow (Jan 19).

January 22, 2018

A couple of days ago we found Tom's favorite sex toy and a closed bottle of Iron Horse (Isobutyle nitrate) (also known as poppers, a recreational drug inhalant) under the bed. I knew Tom openly used this stuff and it made him happy.

A new scenario unfolds here, in that he may have been trying to put his toy and poppers away in the drawer when he slipped and his head became lodged. I am hoping that in his inebriated state, he may not have been aware of what was happening.

February 25, 2018

I've spent the last few weeks sorting, packing and deciding what is in the house I want to keep and what goes to auction. The estate liquidators will begin organizing what is left in the house on March 5. One small box of checks, I have kept since 1973, contains "Checks to remember life by". This will obviously be kept, even though the last saved check was from way back in 2004. Hidden down in the middle of the stack I found the check I wrote in 1983 for an ad in the Washington Blade newspaper for a room mate to help share the rent. This is the ad that Tom read which ended up starting the best 34 years of my life. Below is a scanned copy of the original letter I sent to the Blade requesting they post my ad.